edamama

is it okay to ask if someones kids are adopted?

2012-02-10T19:14:00.003-05:00

Check out this well written post:

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/02/it-okay-to-ask-if-someones-kids-are.html

overheard:

2012-02-01T15:11:00.001-05:00

"You can put your pacifier in, or you can put your fingers in your mouth and slow down. Those are your options Mama. Do you understand?"

Just for the record, this child has never used a pacifier...

wordless wednesday

2012-01-25T21:12:00.000-05:00

sigh...

2012-01-23T19:19:00.002-05:00

Sometimes this motherhood stuff is just hard.

Sure, we love our kiddos, yes they are adorable and smart and funny and my goodness are they cute! But sometimes, they are so full of toddler hormones it will make your head spin! Behaviors that this Mama brain just can't understand even if this therapist brain can.

So when someone sent me a link to this post, I just had to share.

Enjoy!

http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/

overheard:

2012-01-20T19:20:00.001-05:00

Soybean: "Mama, where are my bubbles?"

Mama: "I don't know, we'll have to look for them at home."

Soybean: "We'll ask Daddy. Daddy always has good ideas for us."

Soybean in 4 languages

2012-01-18T20:05:00.001-05:00

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

wordless wednesday

2012-01-11T21:15:00.001-05:00

overheard:

2012-01-05T21:19:00.002-05:00

Tonight while eating dinner I was treated to this little stream of consciousness:

"I have some forsythia in some jars. Sometimes I'm too short for jars. Jars are not for little girls because they are made of glass."

another year gone by

2011-12-31T19:47:00.003-05:00

2009

2010

2011

Wishing you all a very happy, healthy new year!

laying down and growing up

2011-12-30T20:35:00.007-05:00

Soybean: "Bye bye baby bed. You're welcome for all the sleeping times!"

Soybean: "This bed is my favorite."

holiday vacation parts two & three

2011-12-29T19:40:00.005-05:00

Day two of vacation started out with matching jammie snuggles:

Then some ponytail making:

And for our morning outing to introduce our daughter to something her parents loved (yes, we grew up in the 80's)

Yes, that's right, the parents who don't let their child watch t.v. showed her what happens at an arcade! While Soybean was busy "driving" (there were never any coins put in this machine) her parents took turns playing skee ball and wining her more "tickets" which were used to obtain cheep plastic crap.

Seriously! What got into us?

Vacation I guess. She had fun so its all good.

Uncle Sean: This is what an indoor water park looks like from the outside.

She LOVED the slide!

This is the giant bathtub in our condo

Dada surfing:

By the end of the third day at the water park Miss Soybean had figured out her own way to "swim" in the 1 foot deep kiddie pool.

Lots of fun family time:

Packing up to leave:

We had a fantastic time on our mountain getaway!

holiday vacation part one

2011-12-28T18:48:00.003-05:00

We wanted to get away from all the holiday buzz for a few days.

We toyed with the idea of going to visit friends in Paris, but then didn't get Soybean a US passport in time (still waiting on that one). Sorry Sandra!

Then we thought about visiting friends in Arizona but really we just couldn't get ourselves together to make that happen either. Sorry Jill!

So, we decided a few days away in a mountain resort would do us some good.

You can see from the minute we arrived Miss Soybean was excited!

We brought so much yummy veg food that we didn't have to venture out or settle for greasy diner fare.

And then there was the water park. Yes Uncle Sean, an indoor water park. We got a three day pass and as you'll see, Miss Soybean had a blast each and every time!

Day One:

She also had fun playing in our condo in front of the fire.

A family Hanukkah gift:

Matching PJ's!

Yes, we are that nerdy and we love it!

Stay tuned, more pictures to come of the following days...

overheard:

2011-12-26T19:26:00.003-05:00

Dada: "This story is called It's Not Easy Being Big! by Stephanie St. Pierre"

Soybean: "Sometimes people call Mama Stephanie."

Dada: "Yes Soybean, that is right, sometimes people call Mama Stefani."

p.s. there are no pictures yet due to a slight computer malfunction. I promise lots of vacation pictures later in the week!

two more exciting nights

2011-12-24T08:09:00.003-05:00

Despite what these pictures show, it really isn't all about the presents. We've been taking about how lucky we are to have light during this season of darkness, how thankful we are for all that we have. Miss Soybean is getting pretty good at saying the Hebrew blessings and every night we begin our little celebration by singing and dancing to The Barenaked Ladies version of Hankkah Blessings. Quite a site to behold!

In general, we're having a lot of quality family time.

Thanks Papa D and Grandma Sandy. Now, I really am a princess!

Playing dreidel

first two nights of hanukkah fun

2011-12-22T10:44:00.005-05:00

Soybean is pretty excited that we get 8 crazy nights of fun!

Having a tea party:

Making latkes:

A very exciting present:

Silly glasses - a new holiday tradition:

family day fun

2011-12-18T15:14:00.001-05:00

Mama: "Oh look! Soybean you're dressed like Daddy!"

Soybean: "No Mama, I'm Soybean and I'm wearing Daddy's shirt."

a beautiful gift

2011-12-15T19:46:00.003-05:00

Sometimes a person comes along in your life who connects with you in an amazing way. And despite time and distance, this person continues to really "get" you. My friend Jill is a talented clinician, a fantastic mother, an amazing woman. I miss her terribly and would love to be able to meet for coffee and talk about the world and how to raise our children.

Most of you know that I don't really care for talking on the phone, thus I'm a pretty bad long distance friend. But my friend Jill loves me, flaws and all.

This year, just when I started to feel a little funny about turning one year older I got a package in the mail. I opened the package to find this:

Handmade with love from my friend Jill.

And suddenly turning another year older didn't seem quite so bad.

Thanks Jilly Bean!

overheard:

2011-12-13T17:43:00.000-05:00

"First of all, you have to go to the best school and I have to go to a bigger school."

"First of all, you have to go to the best job and I have to go to a bigger job."

"Right Mama?"

overheard:

2011-12-08T08:25:00.001-05:00

"Mama, you absolutely love acceptable things."

thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-26T17:31:00.003-05:00

We love long holiday weekends in the house of soy!

Four whole family days in a row!

We spent a lot of time in our pj's cooking and playing.

And enjoyed our traditional vegan thanksgiving feast!

We ate cinnamon rolls and....

shared the joy of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade for the very first time!

We're having a lot of fun together!

wordless wednesday

2011-11-16T10:09:00.001-05:00

its a cousin thing

2011-11-10T19:55:00.002-05:00

I'm a little behind, but better late than never!

A few weeks ago the Minnesota Grandparents came to visit and brought along Miss Soybean's 10 year old cousin Miss M.

There is something really cool about watching a little girl become enamored with her older cousin.

This little girl will not sit on just anyone's lap.

To Miss Soybean, Miss M was magical.

And talented.

And to Miss M's credit - she was awesome with her littlest fan!

first movie!

2011-11-06T12:11:00.002-05:00

Most of you who know us know that The Muppets have always had a special place in our relationship. As Miss Soybean grows we are so excited to share our love of Muppets with her. We listen to the songs, she has some of the stuffed friends, and she can identify several of the characters on Dada's shirt, coffee mug, book, etc.

We were very excited when we learned that a local art house was going to be showing The Muppet Movie on the big screen! We couldn't think of a more perfect first movie for our little Soybean!

So Miss Soybean and her friend Miss H. donned their matching Muppets outfits and headed off on an adventure!

It was too dark to capture the looks of amazement on her face but suffice it to say seeing her Muppet friends on the big screen was a thrill!

She did an awesome job!

And lasted until about 15 minuets before the end

Life's like a movie write your own ending

Keep believing keep pretending

We've done just what we set out to do

Thanks to the lovers, the dreamers, and you!

- The Muppets

spelling? reading? photographic memory?

2011-10-31T20:36:00.002-04:00

My daughter never ceases to amaze me!

She's been singing her ABC's and recognizing letters for a long time now. She also loves animals and has been able to identify the animals on her "fish cards" for quite some time. But tonight it was something even bigger!

While we were getting ready for bed Miss Soybean picked up a "fish card", placed it on the ottoman and started pointing to each letter and said:

"L...O...B...S...T...E...R. Lobster!"

WHAT?!?! Excuse me, what did you just say?

There was no time to respond since she was on to the next card:

"S...W...O...R...D...Mama, what's this one?"

Mama: "F"

"Oh! F! ...I...S...H... Swordfish!"

And before it was all over:

"O...C...T...O...P...S... Octopus!"

She may have missed the "U" but this little girl doesn't miss a beat!

WOW!

wordless wednesday

2011-10-19T12:13:00.003-04:00

when family doesn't match

2011-10-16T19:05:00.003-04:00

Today we went to the zoo.

Just moments after I snapped this shot of Miss Soybean enjoying a rare treat, something happened...

A little girl (I learned later she was 3 years old) sitting on the next bench with her family said:

"She's not your daughter"

Me: "Yes. She is my daughter."

Little Girl: "But she's brown."

Me: "Yes"

Little Girl: "And you're... lighter."

Me: "That's right. We're all different but still a family."

Little Girl's Mother: "Yes, different but the same. Just like I'm dark and you're lighter than me"(referring to her own beautiful dark skin and her daughter's slightly lighter shade) "But we all eat and bleed the same."

Me: "Yes. We do."

I'm never ready. I never say enough of the right things in the right order. I wish I would have said more. But this time, the most important part was my daughter heard that we're a family, and another beautiful little girl with brown skin learned that we're a family too. Even if we don't match.

overheard:

2011-10-16T13:35:00.002-04:00

While riding in the backseat last night on the way to dinner Miss Soybean starts yelling out the window at other cars

"Car! Car! Drive!"

I think perhaps Mama has been a little inpatient while driving lately and one little parrot has picked up on it. Opps!

wordless wednesday

2011-10-12T19:52:00.001-04:00

family day - 2 year anniversary!

2011-10-10T20:26:00.003-04:00

Now that Brian is gone all week we make a big deal about "Family Days" (Saturday and Sunday) when all three of us are together. We sing a special "Hooray it's Family Day" song, we have special rituals, like going downstairs for breakfast in our pajamas instead of having to get dressed first (like we do during the week), and overall we make sure that our time together is good quality time.

But this past weekend was a very special Family Day. It was the 2 year anniversary of the first Family Day ever. The day we held Soybean in our arms for the very first time and became our family of three.

We were the first family called upstairs. We walked up three flights of stairs and into the room. There were so many beautiful babies on the mat. Our social worker, Rosa, handed Soybean to us and these pictures were taken:

We were in shock.

We fell in love.

We were a family.

Two years later it is hard to believe these are the same three people:

No longer in shock.

Completely in love.

The best family ever!

Happy Family Day Anniversary!

wordless wednesday

2011-09-28T16:36:00.002-04:00

overheard

2011-09-25T20:09:00.002-04:00

Tonight at the restaurant:

"No watermelon Mama, just cantaloupe, alright? Do you understand Mama?"

birthday boy

2011-09-23T20:02:00.002-04:00

This week was B's birthday!

I drove up to his new job and we went out for dinner at a great place called Veggie Heaven. The food was fantastic!

Veg bbq kabobs

After all, how can dishes called "double delight" and "glorious sensation" not taste great!?

Happy Birthday B!

Guest Post: A Hungry Child Can't Wait: Ask 5 for 5

2011-09-20T23:16:00.002-04:00

Guest Blogger: Sarah Lenssen from #Ask5for5

Family photos by Mike Fiechtner Photography

Thank you edamama and nearly 150 other bloggers from around the world for allowing me to share a story with you today, during Social Media Week.

A hungry child in East Africa can't wait. Her hunger consumes her while we decide if we'll respond and save her life. In Somalia, children are stumbling along for days, even weeks, on dangerous roads and with empty stomachs in search of food and water. Their crops failed for the third year in a row. All their animals died. They lost everything. Thousands are dying along the

road before they find help in refugee camps.

At my house, when my three children are hungry, they wait minutes for food, maybe an hour if dinner is approaching. Children affected by the food crisis in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Somalia aren't so lucky. Did you know that the worst drought in 60 years is ravaging whole countries right now, as you read this? Famine, a term not used lightly, has been declared in Somalia. This is the world's first famine in 20 years.12.4 million people are in need of emergency assistance and over 29,000 children have died in the last three months alone. A child is dying every 5 minutes. It it estimated that 750,000 people could die before this famine is over. Take a moment and let that settle in.

The media plays a major role in disasters. They have the power to draw the attention of society to respond--or not. Unfortunately, this horrific disaster has become merely a footnote in most national media outlets. News of the U.S. national debt squabble and the latest celebrity's baby bump dominate headlines. That is why I am thrilled that nearly 150 bloggers from all over the world are joining together today to use the power of social media to make their own headlines; to share the urgent need of the almost forgotten with their blog readers. Humans have the capacity to care deeply for those who are suffering, but in a situation like this when the numbers are too huge to grasp and the people so far away, we often feel like the little we can do will be a drop in the ocean, and don't do anything at all.

When news of the famine first hit the news in late July, I selfishly avoided it. I didn't want to read about it or hear about it because I knew I would feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I wanted to protect myself. I knew I would need to do something if I knew what was really happening. You see, this food crisis is personal. I have a 4-year-old son and a 1 yr-old daughter who were adopted from Ethiopia and born in regions now affected by the drought. If my children still lived in their home villages, they would be two of the 12.4 million. My children: extremely hungry and malnourished? Gulp. I think any one of us would do anything we could for our hungry child. But would you do something for another mother's hungry child?

My friend and World Vision staffer, Jon Warren, was recently in Dadaab Refugee Camp in Kenya--the largest refugee camp in the world with over 400,000 people. He told me the story of Isnino Siyat, 22, a mother who walked for 10 days and nights with her husband, 1 yr-old-baby, Suleiman, and 4 yr.-old son Adan Hussein, fleeing the drought in Somalia. When she arrived at Dadaab, she built the family a shelter with borrowed materials while carrying her baby on her back. Even her dress is borrowed. As she sat in the shelter on her second night in camp she told Jon, "I left because of hunger. It is a very horrible drought which finished both our livestock and our farm." The family lost their 5 cows and 10 goats one by one over 3 months, as grazing lands dried up. "We don't have enough food now...our food is finished. I am really worried about the future of my children and myself if the situation continues."

Will you help a child like Baby Suleiman? Ask5for5 is a dream built upon the belief that you will.

That something I knew I would need to do became a campaign called #Ask5for5 to raise awareness and funds for famine and drought victims. The concept is simple, give $5 and ask five of your friends to give $5, and then they each ask five of their friends to give $5 and so on--in nine generations of 5x5x5...we could raise $2.4 Million! In one month, over 750 people have donated over $25,000! I set up a fundraiser at See Your Impact and 100% of the funds will go to World Vision, an organization that has been fighting hunger in the Horn of Africa for decades and will continue long after this famine has ended. Donations can multiply up to 5 times in impact by government grants to
help provide emergency food, clean water, agricultural support,
healthcare, and other vital assistance to children and families suffering in the Horn.

I need you to help me save lives. It's so so simple; here's what you need to do:

Donate $5 or more on this page (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)

Send an email to your friends and ask them to join us.

Share #Ask5for5 on Facebook and Twitter!

I'm looking for another 100 bloggers to share this post on their blogs throughout Social Media Week. Email me at ask5for5@gmail.com if you're interested in participating this week.

A hungry child doesn't wait. She doesn't wait for us to finish the other things on our to-do list, or get to it next month when we might have a little more money to give. She doesn't wait for us to decide if she's important enough to deserve a response. She will only wait as long as her weakened little body will hold on...please respond now and help save her life. Ask 5 for 5.

Thank you on behalf of all of those who will be helped--you are saving lives and changing history.

p.s. Please don't move on to the next website before you donate and email your friends right now. It only takes 5 minutes and just $5, and if you're life is busy like mine, you probably won't get back to it later. Let's not be a generation that ignores hundreds of thousands of starving people, instead let's leave a legacy of compassion. You have the opportunity to save a life today!

back to school

2011-09-19T20:18:00.003-04:00

We are now in the Toddler II classroom!

Out of the seven kiddos in the class, two joined their family through adoption, three would be considered "minorities" and six are girls! LOVE it!

So excited to go to school!

Rockin' the new backpack!

Here is to a new year!

overheard

2011-09-16T15:31:00.001-04:00

In the backseat on the way home from school:

Soybean: It's the boy's graduation said the mama.

Me: Whose graduation is it?

Soybean: Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll talk about it later.

birthday wishes!

2011-09-11T09:24:00.001-04:00

Sending very happy birthday wishes to Uncle Larry from the house of Soy!

shopping

2011-09-02T14:11:00.002-04:00

My daughter really likes to go shopping. But not for the typical reasons. She could really care less about getting stuff, especially clothes. But what she really wants to do is visit her friends.

"The mannequin family"

preparation

2011-08-26T20:52:00.003-04:00

I've already checked one thing off my "never done that before" list this week: earthquake.

Apparently I'm about to check off another: hurricane.

Flashlights: check

Candles: check

Matches: check

Peanut butter & jelly: check

Bottled water: check

Fun kid activities that don't require electricity: check

I think we're ready.

This little girl is happy as can be, no idea of what is about to happen outside!

overheard:

2011-08-26T14:46:00.002-04:00

This morning while using her pen and paper

"Look! I write good English."

...

earthquake?

2011-08-23T21:52:00.005-04:00

Anyone who knows me is very aware of my anxious tendencies.

The other night after reading an article in the new Parents magazine about emergency preparedness, I expressed my concern that we are nowhere near ready in The House of Soy for a natural disaster or alien invasion (my husband is a big sci-fi fan).

To which said husband responded, "Its not like we have earthquakes here Stef."

Um....

Yeah, we do!

I felt it! My office was shaking. My desk, my computer, my mouse were all shaking. I looked up at a co-worker who was in my doorway and said "Are we having an earthquake?" The answer is yes, we were. Well they were in Virginia but we felt it all the way up here!

Now I really have to get my emergency kit together. Call me paranoid, but in the event something like this happens again, you'll be asking me for a can of peaches or some tofurkey jerky.

Oh, and just in case you didn't know, this anxious tendency runs in the family.
I felt it!

me & my daddy

2011-08-16T15:31:00.004-04:00

So, my Daddy has a great new job. He loves it and he is really happy! I am happy for him, but I miss him during the week because he has to leave before I wake up and I have to go to bed before he gets home. That means, when the weekend comes, it is all about Daddy and Me!

Seriously, Mama who?

A Saturday morning treat: watching the video message Daddy left me to watch when he is away, but with my real Daddy next to me! Cool!

With my Daddy for my first Starbucks

(it was only water, but who cares, it had a straw!)

Snuggling into my Daddy all weekend long!

And of course, LOTS of playing!

My Daddy is so fun!

We have a great time together!

I love him SO much!

I get kinda sad during the week because I miss him so much. But every Saturday, the fun starts all over again. Thank goodness for weekends!

wordless wednesday - dress up edition

2011-08-10T00:01:00.000-04:00

simple pleasures and important causes

2011-08-05T16:08:00.002-04:00

Today one of my favorite simple pleasures arrived in the mail:

Yes, that is the 2012 Ikea catalog!

Now, I don't actually need anything new from Ikea, but after a long week of being a single parent (more on B's fantastic new job later) I am ready for Friday night bedtime. I will pour myself a tall glass of something cold and settle in on my Ikea sofa to peruse and dream of organized spaces!

But, I will not spend any money.

Instead I will spend my money here:

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorreg/donorpledge.asp?ievent=469399&supID=330432677

There is a terrible famine happening right now in the Horn of Africa. Our daughter's birth family and many others are in need of our assistance. Every $50 donated through this site goes directly to Doctors Without Borders and will save the life of one child.

So join me will you?

Enjoy your new catalog and then spend your money where it really counts!

wordless wednesday

2011-07-27T06:53:00.001-04:00

ethiopian kids community Mehaber 2011

2011-07-24T12:51:00.003-04:00

We felt so lucky that we were able to attend the Mehaber this year! "Mehaber" is an Amharic word meaning a gathering of friends and family. Thank you to the Ethiopian Kids Community for putting together such a fantastic event!

Our beautiful daughter of Ethiopia

This is the preschool class performing traditional ET dancing. Wish we had something like this here!

Our friends and travel buddies Kate and Mamush. Can't believe how big he has gotten!

Little Miss was very interested in helping move carts.

All that fun meant one exhausted girl!

mn favorites

2011-07-22T15:08:00.003-04:00

When we're in MN not only do we get to see friends and family, but Mama also gets to enjoy all her favorites from home that she misses.

Each day started with the best cup of coffee!

And then, of course, there is some of the best pizza ever created!

Yes Melinda, in response to your question: I had Davanni's 4 times in the 8 days we were in town! It makes my mouth water just to see this picture!

This old favorite was pretty darn good too!

The place where it all began (10 years ago this Sept)

Westbymidwest - don't you wish we could meet up there and share a meal?!

And of course no trip to MN would be complete with a Twins game. My first visit to the new stadium did not disappoint! Thanks for the awesome tickets Dad!

mn vacation part 2

2011-07-21T23:00:00.002-04:00

More vacation fun!

Playing "cards" with Uncle Larry and Auntie Karin:

Having a serious discussion with Nana in bed:

Ahhhh, juice box!

Visiting one of Mama's favorite places in MN:

Next up: The Mehaber!

mn vacation part 1

2011-07-20T21:05:00.008-04:00

Some little snippets from the great summer road trip of 2011:

First I must say that Little Miss Soybean did a fantastic job in the car! She hardly complained, marveled at things out the window, sang her heart out to songs, and played with some fascinating new toys.

She fully enjoyed checking out each hotel room:

And took plenty of catnaps along the way:

At Papa D & Grandma Sandy's house she found toddler heaven:

At Auntie Pam's house, a pool:

and snacks - even more exciting than the pool:

Despite a small amount of vacation stress, primarily related to returning to one's childhood home and not having Dada Soy for the first few days, I think overall vacation suits us well:

Thank you Auntie Rah Rah for the use of your house. Soybean loves to close all the doors in your upstairs hallway!

Next up: mn vacation part 2 - the Dada arrives and other adventures!

wordless wednesday

2011-07-20T07:18:00.000-04:00

Exciting News!

2011-07-17T21:24:00.003-04:00

Dada Soy got a fantastic new job!

And Mama Soy got:

A fantastic new toy!

For anyone who is still out there, I promise more posts coming soon covering: the trip to MN, the Mehaber, the beach with friends, and some thoughts from an adoption social worker.

wordless wednesday - vacation edition

2011-07-06T08:47:00.001-04:00

overheard

2011-06-23T18:00:00.000-04:00

Soybean: "What is that?"

Daddy: "That's Daddy's tank top."

Soybean: "That's really nice."

Soybean: "I don't want to wear Daddy's tank top because it's too big."

referral-versary

2011-06-22T20:27:00.003-04:00

June 22, 2009

"The Day you revealed yourself to us!"

"...we sat together holding hands as we opened the email that would change our lives forever."

"...Your sweet little hands with tiny little finger nails, your perfect little lips, your button nose and soft eyebrows. Oh sweet baby girl. I recognize you."

"... you are our little girl. Our joy. Our dream."

And this morning my sweet Soybean, as you looked up at me from bed, I remembered how all the pain and uncertainty of the wait suddenly made sense on that day two years ago. It all made sense because of course we were waiting for you.

wordless wednesday

2011-06-22T00:01:00.000-04:00

overheard

2011-06-20T21:22:00.002-04:00

Okay, so every parent thinks their child is so smart. But seriously, mine is.
Here are just a few of the latest Soy-isms

"Mama, you don't like that song. Don't sing that song."
Apparently she doesn't like my singing in the car...

"It's kind of like a ponytail!"
When referring to the top (vine part) of the stuffed grapes toy

"I want to try that." "I'm trying that."
Upon seeing a new toy and then trying the new toy. Seriously, how many 2 year olds know to change their tenses?

"I might go to the park later. After nap."
Upon laying down for her nap

"I want to go that way"
Pointing out the window of the car as we pass a playground

This little girl continues to amaze us and keep us in stitches!

wordless wednesday

2011-06-15T20:01:00.001-04:00

wordless wednesday

2011-06-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

mindful monday: thoughts from an adoption social worker

2011-06-06T10:19:00.002-04:00

Terrible Beautiful

This is a phrase I heard recently from another Mom by adoption. It is a great way to attempt to describe the experience of adoption, specifically the experience of placement.

Last week I had the honor of facilitating a last minute adoption. This means that a woman gave birth, and although she had not been working with a social worker on an adoption plan, she knew that she was unable to parent. The foster care system was threatening to get involved and this woman knew she wanted better for her child so she called our agency.

For three days I was privileged to spend time with her, to get to know her as a person. To learn about her childhood and the often winding path that brought her to her current life circumstances. I was able to stand by her side as she faced her fears and fought for her child to have a better life than the one she was able to provide. She did not want to see the baby, she was afraid it would be too difficult. As the three days passed she began to ask more questions about the baby. Her motherly love shining through everything she did.

After she signed the documents that terminated her parental rights she asked if we could get some coffee, then asked if we could take it to the beach. We sat side by side on a bench overlooking the ocean. We ate donuts and drank coffee and talked about new beginnings. I took her picture in the sun, she hugged me, kissed my cheek and thanked me. I thanked her. I asked her to please take care of herself and stay in touch. She walked away. I'm not sure if I will ever see her again.

Three hours later I am passing a tiny little baby into the arms of her new parents. The smiles and tears in their eyes, their disbelief that after all this time they are parents, their nervous laughter, all of it swirling around us. They ask questions about the Birth Mother and gaze lovingly at this beautiful child. Their dreams have come true.

After they sign their paperwork accepting custody of the baby we all hug. They thank me profoundly. I congratulate them and tell them to call me later.

I drive away with tears streaming down my face. One family is torn apart. Another is built.

Terrible Beautiful.

Adoption.

love long weekends

2011-05-29T19:56:00.002-04:00

We love a long weekend in the house of Soy! It started Friday night with our first deck meal of the season, and Miss Soybean's first ever meal on the deck. She was very proud of herself in her big girl chair!

Then it was off to the beach!

She didn't waste any time heading for the water.

She kept her Dada very busy!

We tried to take a family self portrait, however, apparently 2 year olds don't like to sit still for too long. Especially at the beach when there is just so much to look at!

And the best part is we still have one more day!

blog friends

2011-05-25T20:11:00.002-04:00

One of the really cool and totally unexpected perks of blogging has been the connections formed through cyber space. I never knew that starting an adoption blog meant that I would meet other like minded (read vegetarian or earth conscious or left leaning, take your pick) people who also just happen to be parenting beautiful children from Ethiopia.

This past weekend we had the great pleasure of meeting some blog-o-sphere friends in real life! Mamush and his mom!

It was really fun to meet you! Thanks for coming and safe travels!

...

just registered!

2011-05-23T19:55:00.002-04:00

For the 2011 Mehaber!

Anyone else?

6 years ago

2011-05-22T20:52:00.002-04:00

So there are a lot of reasons to be happy that the world did not end yesterday.

One of which is that six years ago, May 21, 2005 we got married standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon

Happy wedding anniversary!

certified smart

2011-05-21T12:04:00.005-04:00

Last weekend (yes I'm a little behind) Brian graduated with his Master's in Public Administration (MPA) with a certificate in Non-profit management. So, if you know of any "perfect" jobs that pay really well and have fabulous benefits, please let us know! :)

Here is the graduate looking dapper in his robes:

So proud of him! And also selfishly glad that Saturdays are now for us instead of for classes!

With his brother (thanks for coming all this way!) and sister:

Although she is proud of her Dada, she refused to smile. Oh, two years old!

B with his siblings and father and niece and nephew:

She is interested in all of the excitement:

You're turn next little one!

Congratulations Brian! We are so proud of you!

soybean by the numbers

2011-05-18T20:38:00.007-04:00

I borrowed this idea from the playbook of Mama Papaya (thanks!)

Miss Soybean by the numbers:

2 years old

Height: 2 feet, 10.25 inches tall - 59%

Weight: 28.3 pounds - 70%

Head: 18.9 inches - 63%

That's my girl!

raising a vegetarian

2011-05-11T21:01:00.000-04:00

When you ask Miss Soybean why we don't bite people she will proudly reply:

"We don't eat people, we're vegetarian!"

Yes, that is right little girl we are. And proud of it.

Now let me first say that I am not the veggie police. Everyone gets to decide for themselves what they do and don't eat. If people want to know why our family is vegetarian I'm happy to talk about it (preferably not while anyone is eating). I'm happy to recommend great veg recipes, veg restaurants, and even publications to assist with healthy veg eating. I will offer you yummy food to taste if you'd like. But I will never harass you for not eating the way I do.

So please forgive me if I get a little frustrated when for the fourth time in the last 45 days a certain preschool teacher has continued to express shock and disbelief and outright disgust that not only does our family not eat meat, but that Miss Soybean does not regularly partake of sweets.

"She doesn't eat sweets?! How can you survive without candy?!"

"You don't eat meat? Not even fish?"

"What do you eat?"

"But don't you miss meat, like ham and turkey?"

Seriously?! This is getting a little old lady.

No, we don't eat meat. No, not even fish (which I have never liked but that is beside the point). My two year old survives just fine without sweets (sometimes she gets cookies and cupcakes for special occasions). We do eat just about everything else. Vegetables, fruit, grains, legumes, pasta, tofu and other soy products. And NO, I don't miss eating those other things you mentioned.

And just to help you out a little bit, it is 2011. It is not that odd to be a vegetarian. According to Vegetarian Times there are 7.3 million Americans who are vegetarian and nearly 22.8 million who follow a vegetarian inclined (heavily plant based) diet. And that is an old study.

In most other parts of the world meat is an expensive delicacy not eaten for every meal. Many other cultures, including in Ethiopia, have fasting days when meat products are not to be consumed.

My daughter is healthy, happy and active. Her pediatrician thinks that her catch up weight gain since coming home is amazing and has asked how in the world we did it. Well, I made all of her baby food from scratch. Her vegetarian baby food. At nine months old my child enjoyed foods that I didn't really even care for (kale, cauliflower, parsnips, carrots, onions, cabbage) and some that I did (zucchini, broccoli, peppers, lentils, peas, green beans, tomatoes, avocados, falafal, etc.) So really , despite the expected 2 year old food jags, I think we're doing okay.

And I'm just wondering, do you question the parents who are sending their toddlers to your class with individual boxes of fruit loops, neon colored yogurt and chocolate chip cookies? Cause I've seen those kids bouncing off the walls in your room and I'm wondering how they can survive without vegetables.

(okay so that last part was a dig, but give a girl a break!)

i'm two!

2011-05-09T20:47:00.002-04:00

It is really hard to believe that after 365 days this little girl:

Became this little girl:

Miss Soybean is amazing! She is smart and funny and so sweet. She gives the world's best full body hugs when you walk in the door after being gone. She sings and talks and reads her books to her dolls as if she were running a school. She is the light of our lives and we couldn't imagine it any other way.

...

And speaking of light...

Last year:

And this year:

One for you, one for us, and one for the incredible little girl we share.

mother's day

2011-05-09T10:37:00.002-04:00

Sunday morning I woke up (at 9:15am!) to this:

It was a wonderful Mother's day full of snuggles, sunshine and giggles!

And never far from my mind was the other mother, thousands of miles away, on the other side of the world. The amazing, strong, beautiful mother. The mother I see reflected in her eyes everyday. The mother who made me a mother. There are no words to express my gratitude and my love for you.

wordless wednesday

2011-05-04T00:01:00.000-04:00

bathroom humor

2011-04-24T15:24:00.002-04:00

This little girl never stops being funny!

Last night while she was in the tub she said "go potty!" so we scooped her up, tried to dry her off a little and plopped her down on the potty. She started to shiver so on with the monster towel. Then, let the hiding commence!

She still seemed a little cold so if one towel was good, then two towels must be better!

So, with a monster towel head and a butterfly towel body, she sat there singing songs until the big event.

What a funny girl!

catch up post #3 - the festival of Soybean

2011-04-22T20:49:00.000-04:00

My brother-in-law Sean has a great theory. He says that when it is your birthday it is the festival of you. The best part, is that according to Sean, your festival starts the day you get your first card (or present if you're a kid) and lasts until you get your last card. I think this was created as a way to not feel bad that most of us are always late sending out his cards, but whatever, it makes for a fun tradition!

So, as much as this Mama does not want her baby to grow up too fast, it appears that the Festival of Soybean has already begun with the receipt of her first gift!

She LOVED jumping on the trampoline during her Gymboree class (which I had a groupon for - love the groupon!) and has been jumping all over the house ever since. Gaga and Papa decided (with Mama's approval) that it was time for her very own, energy releasing, trampoline.

You can see, after hours of jumping, it worked!

Bring on the festival!

catch up post #2 - twenty three

2011-04-20T14:23:00.001-04:00

I am a little ashamed to admit that this highly anticipated, monthly post completely fell off my radar. So, without further ado, here are twenty-three fabulous things about little Miss Soybean:

1. She likes to have as many stuffed animals in her crib with her as possible for naps and night-night.

2. She never forgets that when walking down a staircase the rule is that you can jump off the last step.

3. From the back of the car yesterday I heard: "Soybean is very funny!" Yes, you sure are!

4. She is warming up to new people quicker than before

5. Her current favorite toy is "big dollie"

6. She had falafal for the first time the other day and is still talking about it.

7. She reminds me on Monday mornings that she gets to go to the Library that day.

8. Hiding behind the shower curtain or "shower tent" is a new fun game.

9. She has begun asking for toys that we've hidden in the basement weeks ago. How does she remember this stuff?

10. She is often found galloping around the kitchen saying "neigh, neigh!"

11. When I was brushing her hair the other day she said "Mama don't do that!"

12. She continues to sing songs that I have to search out on google because I've never heard them before.

13. Morgan the dog now has a new official title: "my buddy."

14. She can count to 20, although she usually goes right from seventeen to twenty!

15. When I take her to school she will look up at me and say "Mama pick you up later" and then runs off to join her friends.

16. She is very excited about her big girl underpants.

17. She has been pretty good about telling us when she needs to go potty, albeit, as she is already going...

18. Five seconds after getting in the car she will request "Listen to songs on the radio?"

19. She likes to come to "Mama's bed" for snuggles on weekend mornings although it usually ends up just being lots of wiggles

20. When transitioning to another room she wants to carry as many things with her as she possibly can.

21. When you ask her how old she is now she will say with conviction "Eight!"

22. When you ask her when her birthday is she will say "May 9th!"

23. When you ask her how old she will be on her birthday she will proudly declare "Two!"

I'm not sure my Mama heart can take all this growing up!

catch up post #1

2011-04-19T11:19:00.002-04:00

I've gotten a little behind on blogging about things, so brace yourselves for a series of "catch up posts" this being the first of... well, however many it takes.

Two weeks ago the Minnesota Grandparents came to visit. It was so nice for Miss Soybean to spend time with them and get to know them better. We visited the park, the aquarium, and several restaurants and even went swimming. The little one was excellent the entire time!

She had a lot of fun playing with her Grandma Sandy

And her Papa D taught her to say "quintessential!"

Thanks for coming to play!

vegan seder

2011-04-17T20:51:00.005-04:00

This year we decided to attempt a vegan passover Seder. That is not a simple matter, as the passover Seder is a meal traditionally full of meat and things made with eggs. But, leave it to the power of the Internet and the brains of one Dada and one Gaga, and low and behold we had ourselves a very tasty, heart-healthy and planet-healthy Seder!

Of course it started with the reading of the Haggadah - albeit an abridged, two-year old friendly version.

...

Next, the yummy meal!

Vegetable matzo ball soup, matzoh brie, stuffed zucchini, eggplant cutlets, and sweet potato kugel.

...

And for dessert: Passover brownies and chocolate matzoh! Yum!

...

Miss Soybean did pretty well. Her favorites were the matzos brie and the eggplant cutlets. I think that's because we didn't give her any of the chocolate!

...

Whatever spring holiday you celebrate, we wish you a happy, healthy one.

The Soybean Family!

...

chupi, chupi, chupi

2011-04-13T20:55:00.002-04:00

chupi (n.) Swahili. underpants

These little beauties joined Soybean's warbrobe today,

on a recommendation from her teachers.

Oy vey!

...

asthma anyone?

2011-04-05T20:55:00.011-04:00

After two days of coughing, runny nose, and sneezing Miss Soybean spiked a temperature so off to the doctor we went. Then off to the pharmacy we went. Then home we were with our new medication and our new diagnosis.

The A word. One of the two questions you see on every form for every activity a child does for the rest of their life. As in: "allergies or ASTHMA?"

Soybean has been a total trooper. We sang several rounds of "Disco Man" during our evening nebulizer treatment and then she fell asleep in my arms (still one of the best feelings in the world). It is Mama that is having a harder time with the whole thing.

I was so ready to be a parent. What I wasn't prepared for was the intensity of feelings I would have for my daughter. I want her to be healthy, happy, safe. I want to protect her from everything. I want her to live life to the fullest and enjoy all she possibly can. I want the world for her. But sometimes I'm powerless.

As the doctor talked, the Mama tears came; the visual of my young niece blue and listless in the hospital after a severe asthma attack running through my brain. Then came the parental doubts. Did I do everything I could have to prevent this? Is there something else I should be doing to treat this? Was she in pain and suffering until I figured out she needed to see the doctor? What took me so long?!

In the scheme of things this is relatively minor and we'll all get through it. It just makes me sad to see our little girl in pain. It makes me sad to think at 2 years old she's already got a label. So tonight I'm eating m&m's and feeling sad. Tomorrow, when I wake up to her smile we will sit down with the nebulizer and sing whatever song she fancies. I'll be strong and thankful and happy.

UPDATE: I wrote this Tuesday night. Two days later we returned to the Dr. for a check-up. Asthma appears to be under control. But now... an ear infection. Seriously!?!

...

wordless wednesday

2011-03-30T18:47:00.000-04:00

...

disappointments

2011-03-28T19:57:00.010-04:00

Some of you may have been wondering about the lack of interesting posts over the last three weeks. Others may be confused over the unreturned phone calls, the late birthday cards, or the still unanswered emails. Things have been a little out of sorts in the House of Soy.

As many of you know Dada Soy recently finished his Master's Degree in public administration and is now searching for a fabulous new job. Just so happens that his job search has coincided with the worst recession in U.S. history. Needless to say, there have been some disappointments.

***

Then, we were presented with an unexpected and unplanned possibility. An Ethiopian baby girl (born in the U.S.) might suddenly join our family through adoption. We didn't share the news because it was just a possibility, and because we were trying not to get too excited.

(Those of you who know Mama Soy know how unlikely that was.)

We knew it was crazy. Then we talked about how crazy it was. The next morning: still crazy.

Then we scrambled to prepare our paperwork. You know, just in case.

Then, we waited.

And waited.

Yesterday, we learned that there won't be an adoption.

Adoption is about finding families for children who need them. This little girl didn't need one. Her story moves forward without us. And it isn't ours to share.

We are sad. Especially in light of the most recent news out of Ethiopia regarding international adoption. We are in the process of grieving the loss of what might have been.

***

Then, this morning Mama Soy got rear-ended on the way to work. She is fine, the car is a little bruised, but drivable, and thanks to an enthusiastic insurance agent named Kevin, there is already an appointment at the body shop complete with a waiting rental car.

So, since bad things generally come in threes we're thinking we should now be in line for some good stuff, some happy stuff, some fun! We're certainly ready for it! Sure, the last three weeks have been tough. But how can you stay sad for long when this is what you come home to everyday:

...

We believe everything happens for a reason. Even if the reason is not always clear. For now, we are thankful for our family of three, our health and our home, and our extended family and friends. We are thankful for life and all that it brings - both joy and sadness...

....

wordless wednesday

2011-03-23T07:15:00.000-04:00

...

overheard:

2011-03-17T19:38:00.003-04:00

...

"Disco man!"

"Give a dog a phone!"

"Disco man come rolling home!"

...

wordless wednesday

2011-03-16T07:20:00.000-04:00

...

today's adventures

2011-03-12T20:30:00.003-05:00

Here at the House of Soy we love new adventures! Tonight we found a new veg/vegan restaurant and attended our first night time birthday party.

...

This place was great! And Miss Soybean loved the cold sesame noodles!

...

And she had the best fortune! So true sweet girl!

...

Then, it was off to Bounce U for a friend's birthday party. We were a little unsure how she would do given that on the shy scale Soy is off the charts. But after a few minutes she jumped right in and as you can see, it was a hit!

...

I think we know where Miss Soybean's 2nd birthday party should be!

...

twenty-two!

2011-03-09T21:55:00.002-05:00

Well here we are again. I can hardly believe how fast the time flies!

Today my sweet girl you are 22 months old!

...

So, dear readers, on this special day I will treat you to 22 things that come out of this child's mouth.

I'm sure you will have a good laugh and also wonder just how old she really is...

...

1. "Kitten in the window."

...

2. "Hi MamaDada" (when we're both in the room)

...

3. "How ya doing?"

...

4. "It's complicated Gaga"

...

5. "Where are we?"

...

6. "I see houses out there."

...

7. "Soybean sleeping in her crib."

...

8. "That's a white dog!"

...

9. "Sing Happy And. More Happy And!"

...

10. "Knock it off!"

...

11. "I'll be right back!" (said upon leaving the room)

...

12. "Read book on Mama's bed"

...

13. "Snap peas while waiting" (a plaintive request for a pre-dinner snack)

...

14. "Mama needs to buy more."

...

15. "I need that"

...

16. "That's funny!" (followed by a laugh)

...

17. "Making poo-poos change 'em!" (while in process)

...

18. "Go vacation MamaDada!"

...

19. "Sing songs at School"

...

20. "Because she loves you!"

...

21. "It's behind you!"

...

22. Soybean, how old are you?

"Eight!"

...

...

You are something special!

...

rainy day silliness

2011-03-06T18:56:00.001-05:00

news from the adoption world

2011-03-04T19:31:00.002-05:00

So this has been a long time coming. It is of course important to ensure ethical practice, however, it is also scary to think of the innocent lives that may be caught in the middle.

http://www.voanews.com/english/news/africa/-Ethiopia-to-Cut-Foreign-Adoptions-by-Up-to-90-Percent-117411843.html

I am grieving a little tonight.

vacations are good for us

2011-03-02T20:39:00.004-05:00

The three of us had a really nice time unplugging from our regular lives and hanging out for three days pretending to be in a warmer climate. Actually we were in a colder climate up north but we were inside a heated water park which was a big hit. Little Miss Soybean did a fantastic job and thoroughly enjoyed herself. She's still talking about all the different things she did. Here is to new family adventures, no email or phones, and life on vacation!

How many months until we can check out again?

... ...

...

...

vacation!

2011-02-27T21:25:00.002-05:00

Off we go!

...

The verdict is in.

...

......

one of these things is not like the other

2011-02-26T19:39:00.002-05:00

We're all taught from a very early age that things are supposed to match. Like goes with like. Pick out the thing that isn't "right". What most people aren't taught is that it is rude and hurtful to comment when someone's family doesn't look like they match.

...

Today Miss Soybean made her very first visit to a "hop-sit-ul" - all is fine now, don't worry. I will spare you most of the disgusting details but suffice it to say today was also her very first projectile vomiting, and in the car just for good measure. So, we ended up at the ER for the very first time. There I was covered in goo, holding a listless little person also covered in goo and the very nice man behind the counter who started to input us in the system says to me

...

man : "And you are her...?"

...

me: "Mother."

...

Now I hardly noticed because I figure anyone could bring a child into the ER and when you're checking in is the best time to establish relationship. But then it happened again.

...

Nurse in triage: "Are you her Mom?"

...

Me: "Yes"

...

During this entire time Miss Soybean is saying "Mommy, mommy" and is snuggling up against me sucking her fingers.

...

The next nurse: "You are her Mom?"

...

Me: "Yes."

...

Same nurse: "And is it just the two of you?"

...

Me out loud: "No, my husband is working today."

Me In my head: Is he really asking me if I'm a single mother?!?!

...

Thirty minutes later

...

The doctor: "And you are....?"

...

Me: "Her Mom."

...

About an hour later

...

The insurance woman: "You are Mom?"

...

Me: "Yes."

...

Insurance woman takes my personal information and when she asks: "Your employer?"

...

Me: "---- --- Adoption Agency."

...

Insurance woman: "Ohhh! Some of us were wondering."

...

"Some of them" have been wondering who is this white lady with this Black child. Some of them have been thinking how this doesn't seem quite right because we don't match. But now that they know I work for an adoption agency it all makes sense. So glad I was able to help them figure it out.

...

We work hard in our household to normalize adoption. We work hard to normalize that every family looks different and that is okay. Today Soybean didn't understand why people at the hop-sit-ul kept questioning the validity of our relationship, but one day she will be old enough to understand. How do I ever make sure she really knows deep inside that all of these things may not be like the other, but all of these things certainly belong?

.....

POOP!

2011-02-25T18:55:00.002-05:00

So, there we were having a bath. Miss Soy playing away in the tub, Mama and Dada sitting on the floor talking about their day when from the tub comes this little voice:

...

"Poo-poos change 'em!"

...

Now, this is what she usually says after filling her diaper. Mama has a huge aversion to poo-poos in the tub, so I immediately asked if she needed to go poo-poos. She enthusiastically responded:

...

"Yeah!"

...

So, onto the pretty pink princess potty seat she went dripping wet from the tub. She laughed, she talked, she tensed her body and then....

...

POOP!

...

The Dada cheered and clapped his hands!

The Mama did a happy potty dance! (And then cried a little bit.)

The Soybean said "hug-ah!" which resulted in this:

...

.So here is your picture of happy poo-poo-hug-ahs!

(Dada refused to take a picture of the actual poop for you.)

wordless wednesday

2011-02-23T07:09:00.001-05:00

...

oh my - the days of the week

2011-02-21T21:05:00.002-05:00

So all day Miss Soybean has been talking about going on "vacation!" Before you get too excited you should know that we're only going to an indoor waterpark/hotel for a couple of days where I can wear shorts and pretend we're in the Bahamas. Anyway, all day she's been talking about vacation. Tonight at dinner the conversation took a bit of a turn:

Soy: "Vacation! Go swim vacation!"

Me: "Not until Sunday, then we'll go on vacation."

Soy: "NO!"

Me: (attempting to avoid a toddler tantrum) "Hey, should we learn the days of the week? Can you say Monday?"

Soy: "Tuesday!"

Me: SILENT... Staring at her

Soy: "Wednesday, Thursday, Friday!"

Me: "Oh my... (caught myself) Wow! How do you know the days of the week?"

Soy: "7 days in week!"

At this point I almost fell of my chair. I cheered for her and picked up the phone to notify the Dada.

Oh my goodness!
...

some silly pics

2011-02-18T17:50:00.002-05:00

Because I don't have much to say today but as always Miss Soybean is as funny as ever, here are some silly pictures.

...

Enjoying some crispy kale:

...

Trying out her new fancy sleep cap:

(so far its just a play cap but we're working on it)

...

Alphabet Practice at OneTrueMedia.com

2011-02-13T20:46:00.001-05:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

21 months

2011-02-08T19:44:00.007-05:00

Oh where oh where has our little Soy gone?
Oh where oh where could she be?

She's gone and in her place is a very smart, very talkative toddler of 21 months!

...

1. You LOVE to talk!
All the time. From the minute you wake up until long after you should be sleeping

...

2. You're new favorite skill is jumping

...

3. Your current favorite toy is the Alpha Berry (thanks Auntie Lisa!)

...

4. When I pick you up from school you proceed to tell me everyone who cried that day.

...

5. "Mama crackers" (aka saltines) are still a top pick in the snack department

...

6. You still think that we keep Uncle Sean in the extra bedroom even though he hasn't been here since October.

...

7. You spent the last playdate with friends staring and silent. As soon as they left you told us all about what everyone did.

...

8. Chasing Morgan around the house for "hug-ahs" is super fun. And you seem to be the only one who doesn't mind that he smells like a wet dog.

...

9. Music class at school is your favorite. Every week you come home singing new songs.

...

10. When a toy goes missing we now know to check your play kitchen oven first

...

11. Your current favorite book is "Please Baby Please"

...

12. When I hold up five fingers you tell me "it's five!"

...

13. When I ask you how old you are you say "eight!"

...

14. You love playing with your letters and will tell us what letters are and what starts with them. For example: I hold up a J; You say "J! Jump!" and start jumping up and down.

...

15. Tonight you don't want to sleep. Not sure why. Please sleep.

...

16. You have discovered the yummy goodness that are slivered almonds!

...

17. You seem to be getting taller everyday. You can now look out the front window without your little blue stepstool.

...

18. You wake up talking and jumping, and ready to go each morning.

...

19. Dress up is still a favorite game but now it usually includes a pair of Mama's socks on your hands

...

20. Last week you asked to "go potty" three times. Nothing actually happened other than sitting there, but...

21. You are now the proud owner of a pretty pink princess potty seat.

(Please note this is only the case because it was all that Target had in stock)

...

We love you so much Miss Soybean! Happy 21 months on earth!

...

monday musings: thoughts from an adoption social worker

2011-02-07T16:05:00.003-05:00

If you are a hopeful adoptive parent, just waiting to be matched, or a current parent by adoption waiting to complete your post placement phase this post is for you.

Please know that as your social worker my job is to help you become a family. I will do my best to help you prepare during your homestudy, to help support you during your wait, to cheer with you during placement, and to continue to educate, prepare, and support you during post placement.

Please also know this, in the world of domestic adoptions, when a baby is born, everything else gets put on hold. This will be true someday when it is your baby that is born. So please be patient if your phone call is not returned within the same day (especially when it is not returned within the hour). Please don't worry that I've left the country and not had someone cover for me. Please try not to worry that you will never hear from anyone again and your entire adoption process is up in the air. It is likely that I am at a hospital. It is likely that I am counseling a young woman making the most difficult decision of her life. It is likely that I am introducing a family to their new child. I know when it is your turn you won't want me to take any other calls.

discovering puddles

2011-02-06T20:07:00.002-05:00

It was finally warm enough (and not snowing or raining) to spend some time playing outside. To her incredible delight Miss Soybean discovered puddles today. She forgot all about her walk down the block and splashed in this one puddle for 30 minutes! When all was said and done she was soaked through her socks and up to her knees. We could have moved her on (Mama and Dada got a little bored standing in one place), but we were drawn in to her fascination with each new stomp in the puddle. We couldn't help but smile and laugh at the pure joy that is a toddler learning about her world. Thank you, little girl, for being our greatest teacher.

...

our many snowed in days

2011-02-02T21:11:00.002-05:00

You may wonder what a household with a toddler does when school and work are cancelled due to weather three days in a row. Growing up in Minnesota where school was only cancelled one time in my entire K-12 career I wondered this myself. Well, last week I learned the answer: many, many things, one right after another.

...

Calling to tell whoever will listen that she is going outside to see the snow!

...

Five minutes later we're back inside. Look mama!

(see the wet spot on the rug? that used to be snow)

...

I really wanted to try to make some decent pigtails. So, in my lowest parenting moment yet, I caved. - Insert gasp here by everyone who knows me - I pulled out the laptop and found Elmo singing "Elmo's Song" on YouTube and my daughter, who has yet to watch any television, watched the four minute segment three times in a row. The results? One pretty even part, two fairly decent pig tails, and a child who now thinks Elmo lives in the computer. Seriously now folks, this was after two entire days stuck at home!
...

When I asked her what was in her pocket she said "my phone!" Seriously, where does she get this stuff?
...

Finally by the weekend Dada was able to join in the fun!

I think he enjoyed the sled more than Miss Soybean did.

...

And Joe Snow was born - although he almost lost his nose to a hungry little girl who promptly went inside for a snack.
...

I'm ready for warmer weather now.

...

ET fashion Show

2011-01-31T07:49:00.003-05:00

My amazing niece Amanda came to visit us. She recently spent 6 weeks in Ethiopia with a family on their adoption journey (yes I'm just a tiny bit envious). She had an incredible, life changing journey and I'm so grateful that she was able to come all this way to share a bit of her experience with us. And Miss Soybean was the happy recipient of some beautiful Ethiopian dresses.

...

Thank you Amanda. We love you so much!

...

wordless wednesday

2011-01-26T16:41:00.000-05:00

...

another adventure

2011-01-22T19:10:00.002-05:00

Last weekend's adventures went so well we thought we'd try again this weekend. We bundled up and went down to the University where there was a World Culture Day: Celebration of African Cultures. It was very cool complete with storytelling, drumming, dancing, and crafts. We even saw some friends from our transracial family support group (another post on this later). Soybean wanted to get on stage with the dancers but settled for running up and down the aisles of the auditorium. During all this fun we failed to take great pictures, but we did get this one shot outside to help you understand just how cold it is here these days:

...

...

wordless wednesday

2011-01-19T06:38:00.000-05:00

...